Thursday, December 28, 2006

Jimmy Carter's Book

http://pdamerica.org/articles/news/2006-12-28-08-49-03-news.php
Jimmy Carter's Sin Against Israel
By Charles Lenchner clenchner01@yahoo.com, PDA Israel/Palestine Working Group CoordinatorDecember 28, 2006.We all knew Jimmy Carter was in for it. Before anyone had read a single paragraph of his book, “Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid,” well known heavy hitters in the media were taking pot shots at the ex-president. Jennifer Siegel of the Forward got it right in saying that “critics of the former president probably will be most offended by his use of the word ‘apartheid.’”(1) In so doing, Carter departed from a particular script that leaders of the pro-Israel community were willing to tolerate from U.S. critics of Israel. The Israel lobby – Jews and non-Jews -- has devoted enormous resources and political capital to supporting Israel. They’ve done a great job, strategically speaking, by funding think tanks, newsletters, endowed chairs, academic centers and media activism shops. These resources are deployed in part to secure short-term victories around policy issues. The larger and ultimately more important role is setting the limits of allowable debate. The terms of debate in the U.S. are: Israeli actions and policy may be criticized, as long as everyone affirms Israel’s motives of only wanting peace and security. However, in Israel proper, other motives are debated constantly. These include a racist desire to subjugate Arabs to Western and Jewish control, greed for land, profit from a captive market, the wish to serve U.S. interests in the Middle East, and of course, classic stupidity, of the kind detailed in Barbara Tuchman’s “The March of Folly.” In choosing to use the word “apartheid,” Carter violates the terms of U.S. debate. True, he does not actually accuse Israel proper of being an apartheid state. Also, he does not consider Israel’s motives to be racist. The term does however, connote moral obtuseness, a suggestion that some part of Israeli policy is wrong in the sense of ”evil,” not just wrong in the sense of “misguided.” We should remember that to its dying days, the white South African regime that gave us the word “apartheid” claimed that it was only acting in its role as a bulwark against communism and anarchy, and not on behalf of the white race. Gandhi famously said, “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” When John Mearsheimer and Stephen Walt wrote an academic paper about the Israeli Lobby, they were ridiculed for appearing to support the myth of Jewish control of Congress and the media. But they did succeed in getting widespread notice. Carter follows the path they cleared, with the powerful footsteps of an ex-president known for ensuring fair elections and housing the homeless. Where Mearsheimer and Walt evoked learned essays, Carter has provoked hysterical gnashing of teeth. (Just look at poor Alan Dershowitz jumping up and down in Cambridge, virtually screaming, “Listen to me, not Carter!”) Carter has succeeded, because he gave an emotional narrative of particular appeal to this country’s Christians – still a large majority . He not only explains the facts, he includes the story of how he learned them, as a former president and elder statesmen with extensive Middle East experience. Carter’s view – that Israel’s illegal occupation of Palestine, along with its apartheid policies, violation of UN resolutions, and well documented human rights violations, constitute the driving force of the conflict -- support my own conclusions, and those of most Europeans and our own State Department, although they clash with the self image of Jewish supporters of Israel who wish to preserve their own status as peace- and freedom-loving victims, angry at the Arabs because they “force us to kill their sons.”(2) End the Occuption with the creation of a viable Palestinian state and the conflict will end. This is Carter’s position and one PDA enthusiastically supports. I grew up in Israel and served in her army(3). I live and work in the Jewish community in New York. And of course, I recognize that Israel faces real dilemmas about how to achieve peace and security. Nonetheless, the occupation (in the West Bank) and imprisonment (in Gaza) of Palestinians cannot be described as primarily “misguided.” Occupation is an ongoing and brutalizing evil, carried out by people with limited moral vision and overwhelming military might. It is not in the long-term interests of peace in the region for supporters of Israel gloss over this fact. Nothing can justify what is being done by Israel to the Palestinian people, not even Palestinian terror, extremism and incompetence. The refusal to end the occupation over the last 39 years is most of all a failure of will, not some unfortunate result of Palestinian intransigence. Carter's book will persuade more Americans to point a finger at Israel, and even consider applying serious, option-closing consequences (sanctions) to Israeli actions. If we care about Israel’s survival, we must care enough to apply U.S. political power and will to end the occupation. 1 Carter Book Slaps Israel With ‘Apartheid’ Tag, Provides Ammo to GOP 10/17/06 2 “We can forgive you for killing our sons. But we will never forgive you for making us kill yours.” Golda Meir to Anwar Sadat. 3 I was a refusenik in 1987-1988, preferring to go to prison rather than enter the West Bank as a soldier.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A Nation Founded On Illegals

Thanks again to Bob T. for this one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------December 27, 2006 Op-Ed Contributor, NYT Our Founding Illegals By WILLIAM HOGELAND.EVERY nation is a nation of immigrants. Go back far enough and you'll find us all, millions of potential lives, tucked in the DNA of our African mother, Lucy. But the immigrant experience in the United States is justly celebrated, and perhaps no aspect of that experience is more quintessentially American than our long heritage of illegal immigration. You wouldn't know it from the immigration debate going on all year (the bipartisan immigration bill-in-progress, announced this week, is unlikely to mention it), but America's pioneer values developed in a distinctly illegal context. In 1763, George III drew a line on a map stretching from modern-day Maine to modern-day Georgia, along the crest of the Appalachians. He declared it illegal to claim or settle land west of the line, all of which he reserved for Native Americans.George Washington, a young colonel in the Virginia militia, instructed his land-buying agents in the many ways of getting around the law. Although Washington was not alone in acquiring forbidden tracts, few were as energetic in the illegal acquisition of western land. And Washington was a model of decorum compared to Ethan Allen, a rowdy from Connecticut who settled with his brothers in a part of the Green Mountains known as the Hampshire Grants (later known as "Vermont"). The province of New York held title to the land, but Allen asserted his own kind of claim: He threw New Yorkers out, Tony Soprano style, then offered to sell their lots to what he hoped would be a flood of fellow illegals from Connecticut.Meanwhile, illegal pioneers began moving across the Alleghenies and into the upper Ohio Valley, violating the king's 1763 proclamation and a few more besides. (George would today be accused of softness on immigration; he kept shifting the line westward.) Immigrants from such déclassé spots as Germany and Ireland violated the laws and settled where they pleased. The upper Ohio was rife with illegal immigrants, ancestors of people who, in country clubs today, are implying a Mayflower ancestry.Parallels to today's illegal immigration are striking. Then as now, it was potentially deadly to bring a family across the line. But once across, illegals had a good chance of avoiding arrest and settling in. Border patrols, in the forms of the British Army and provincial militias, were stretched thin. The 18th-century forest primeval, like a modern city, offered ample opportunities for getting lost. Complex economies thrived in the virgin backwoods, unfettered by legitimate property titles. When conflicts developed between the first and second waves of illegals, some salient social ironies arose, too. By the early 1770's, George Washington had amassed vast tracts to which his titles were flatly invalid. The Revolution rectified that. With British law void, Washington emerged from the war with his titles legal by default. But he acquired another problem: low-class illegals were squatting on his newly authenticated, highly valuable property.Washington harbored no fond feeling for breakers of laws that he too had recently flouted. "It is hard upon me," he lamented without irony, "to have property which has been fairly obtained disputed and withheld." He went to court to have the squatters evicted, complaining that they had "not taken those necessary steps pointed out by the law." He was appealing to righteousness from atop a high but wobbly horse. Descendants of the great immigration experiences of the 19th and 20th centuries visit the Ellis Island Immigration Museum to learn of the tribulations of ancestors who risked much to become Americans. Those of us whose ancestors risked everything as illegal immigrants, and in the process helped found a nation, owe our forebears a debt of gratitude, too. Without their daring disregard of immigration laws, we might not be here today.William Hogeland is the author of "The Whiskey Rebellion: George Washington, Alexander Hamilton and the Frontier Rebels Who Challenged America's Newfound Sovereignty."

Friday, December 22, 2006

Music Videos From YouTube

I’m sending out this group of songs that I found on YouTube. If you haven’t checked it out , be prepared to spend a lot of time there. There’s great old clips and more that gets added all the time. Happy everything and anything you celebrate. If you find something you like, send it to me.
Peace and justice,
Gerry


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLresN6yZEY Spoon Guitar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkMMluFiMiQ Uncle Pen Bill Monroe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-C9BqADIWE Peggy Lee Why Don’t You Do Right
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4Qtqw9Eec0 Milton Nascimento – Uakti – Lagrima do Sul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9qqTI3YrHk Grapevine Antonio Forcione

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxYV1jGuj5U Caravan Van Morrison and The Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXEWzq0UANA Jamaican Jewish Wedding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pXgVzFHcSs Just Over In The Glory Land Stanley Brothers and Reno and Smiley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U-_gMpdXBI Caravan Duke Ellington
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GG2v8LBcBU Koko Little Walter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbM7oAz3bS8 John Coltrane Naima
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZ8jAafAkrM Chava Alberstein Klezmatics Mayn Schvester Chaya

Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Fairness of Capitalism

INCOME SCORECARD 1979-2004 BOTTOM 60% OF AMERICANS: DOWN 5%60TH-80TH PERCENTILE: UP 2% TOP 5% OF AMERICANS: UP 53% TOP 1% OF AMERICANS: UP 248% DAVID CAY JOHNSTON, NY TIMES - Despite significant gains in 2004, the total income Americans reported to the tax collector that year,adjusted for inflation, was still below its peak in 2000, new government data shows. Reported income totaled $7.044 trillion in2004, the latest year for which data is available, down from more than$7.143 trillion in 2000, new Internal Revenue Service data shows. . .The overall income declines . . . came despite a series of tax cutsthat President Bush and Congressional Republicans promoted as the bestway to stimulate both short and long-term growth after the Internetbubble burst on Wall Street in 2000 and the economy fell into a briefrecession in 2001. . .Very top households, which include about 300,000 Americans, reported significantly more pretax income combined than the poorest 120 million Americans earned in 2004, the data show. This was a sharp change from 1979, the oldest year examined by the I.R.S., when the thin slice at the top received about one-third of the total income of the big group at the bottom.Over all, average incomes rose 27 percent in real terms over thequarter-century from 1979 through 2004. But the gains were narrowlyconcentrated at the top and offset by losses for the bottom 60 percentof Americans, those making less than $38,761 in 2004.The bottom 60 percent of Americans, on average, made less than 95cents in 2004 for each dollar they reported in 1979, analysis of the I.R.S. data shows.The next best-off group, the fifth of Americans on the 60th to 80 thrungs of the income ladder, averaged 2 cents more income in 2004 foreach dollar they earned in 1979.Only those in the top 5 percent had significant gains. The average income of those on the 95th to 99th rungs of the income ladder rose by 53 percent, almost twice the average rate.A third of the entire national increase in reported income went to thetop 1 percent and more than half of that went to the top tenth of 1 percent, whose average incomes soared so much that for each dollar,adjusted for inflation, that they had in 1979 they had $3.48 in 2004.http://tinyurl.com/yaxw9g

Friday, December 08, 2006

Monday, December 04, 2006

Andy Statmen Live

I saw him and his trio play at the San Francisco Jewish Community Center last night. The man is simply amazing. He started out on clarinet , ended the first set playing mandolin and played mandolin for the whole second set.His band is really outstanding as well.He and they are tuned into some relationship with sound that one rarely hears. Toping the night off was an appearence by David Grisman, and the evening ended with great duets. Don't miss this show if it comes to your neck of the woods. Most of what happens is spur of the moment so although the recordings are great , what happens on stage is always fresh and wonderful. Andy pulled some great sounds from his well worn snakehead, which he struggled with to get in tune( it happens to the best of us) and won. David played his Giacomel, which I got to play backstage. It's a fantastic instrument in every way, great sound and easy to play.
An added bonus for me was that when I practiced this morning , I felt I was playing better just because of being at the concert and absorbing some of the musicality , fluidity and most of all soulfulness .
Andy's website http://www.andystatman.org/index.htmlCheck out Andy's concerts.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Mazel Tov

Mazel tov to all those not getting married in a castle today.
Mazel tov to all whether you are straight or you are gay.
I'll drink a l'khayim with my best bottle of booze,
And dance with my wife without any shoes.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Good Light Bulb Joke



  • How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?The answer is 10.1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness.5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new light bulb.6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the banner, "Mission Accomplished."7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.8. One to viciously smear #7.9. One to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb-changing policy all along.10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb, and screwing the country.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Emma Lazurus Statue Of Lberty, Immigration and Judaism


America's voice of liberty, the writer of the Statue of Liberty sonnet is honored around the same time as the election that may decide the fate of immigration.By Esther Schor, ESTHER SCHOR is professor of English at Princeton University and author of a new biography, "Emma Lazarus."October 28, 2006 THIS WEEKEND, Emma Lazarus, whose eloquent words are engraved in the Statue of Liberty, will be honored with a stone in the Poet's Corner at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in Manhattan. The timing is auspicious because 10 days later, when Americans go to the polls, we will decide anew the fate of her vision for our country as a refuge for immigrants.
These days, famous phrases from Lazarus' resonant 1883 sonnet - "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free" - are hurled like salvoes from all sides of the immigration controversy. Those who view immigrants as a threat to our security, our economy and our democracy contrast the accomplishments of the heralded immigrants of the past with the woes they feel are imported by the current wave of arrivals. They would prefer the statue to proclaim, "Keep your huddled masses." Bloggers on the left ask the statue to admonish and accuse: "Huddled masses; muddled laws." And on and on; a Google search for "your tired, your poor" yields about 200,000 results, while "huddled masses" nets almost twice that number.
Voters and politicians alike understand that the lawmakers chosen Nov. 7 will again face the question of whether to slam the door on new immigrants and, if so, how hard. Nevertheless, most candidates have learned something from the debacle of the bipartisan Senate immigration bill that split even the president's party: Immigration is simply too divisive an issue to depend on for votes.Lazarus wrote her famous words in a climate just as divisive. In December 1883, Frederic Auguste Bartholdi's statue, "Liberty Enlightening the World," languished in pieces in Paris because fundraising in the United States to build a pedestal had been abysmally slow. As Joseph Pulitzer, publisher of the New York World, wrote: "We have more than a hundred millionaires in this city, any one of whom might have written a check for the whole sum. But do they care for a Statue of Liberty, which only reminds them of the equality of all citizens of the Republic?"
Born in 1849 to a wealthy Jewish family of Sephardic descent, Lazarus had been an enfant terrible. Her doting father, a sugar merchant, used his fortune to turn her into a publishing superstar at 17. Her precocious fame, along with her magnetism and wit, won her the friendship of such luminaries as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry James. She called herself an "outlaw" Jew, was secular and fiercely identified with the Jewish people rather than with Jewish observance. Writing in the mainstream, middlebrow Century magazine, she introduced a national American audience to Jewish culture, history and nationhood and wrote vignettes about the history of anti-Semitism.
With the bloody Russian pogroms of 1881-82, boatloads of Jewish refugees arrived in New York, sometimes at the rate of 2,000 a month. Aid groups raised the specter of "an army of Jewish paupers," and even Jews who could trace their American ancestry back two centuries began to fear anti-Semitic reprisals. If those who raised the alarm had had the genius to invent the term "homeland security," they would surely have done so. Lazarus, in a weekly column in the American Hebrew newspaper, hectored and browbeat complacent American Jews into opening their hearts and pockets to the refugees. She refused to soothe ruffled feathers and calm fears. "It will be a lasting blot upon American Judaism if we do not come forward now with encouragement for the disheartened and help for the helpless," she wrote.
Traditional Jews reviled her disparaging of Jewish law; Reform Jews disparaged her for speaking candidly about anti-Semitism. A lesser figure might have retreated, but she was made of stern stuff. Instead, she advanced. In "The New Colossus," what she had once said to Jews - "Until we are all free, none of us is free" - she said to the nation. Just as Jews were morally obliged to repair the world, she argued, America was morally obliged to succor the nations, to open its doors to the poor and oppressed. That obligation was incurred along with a legacy of rebellion against tyranny.
As unambiguous as she was on the immigration question, Lazarus herself was a woman of contradictions. She was a champion of the oppressed; she was also a snob with an exquisite sense of entitlement. She flaunted her dual identity as an American and as a Jew, believing, unlike her contemporaries, that to be more openly Jewish was to be more deeply American. She pleaded the cause not of a chosen people but of a people who deserved the freedom to choose: what to think, whom to love and befriend, how to earn their bread.A spinster who lived out her life under her father's roof, she inscribed in her poetic legacy an explicit sonnet of erotic desire for a woman that, after her death at 38 from Hodgkin's disease, her grieving sisters squelched. Despite how prolific Lazarus was in her time, her oeuvre of poems, plays, essays, translations and a novel has been whittled down to a single sonnet, "The New Colossus," mounted only after her death in 1887 inside the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty.Enriched by her contradictions, Emma Lazarus spoke with a clear, prophetic fervor, telling the nation that its complexion would change, along with its soul. Within the hard, cold, haughty visage of Gilded Age America, she discerned a mother's face and gave that face a voice.

Thanks To HH for sending me this.

New Old Play About The Yiddish Theatre

http://www.jewishsf.com/content/2-0-/module/displaystory/story_id/30723/format/html/displaystory.html

Monday, October 02, 2006

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

911 Conspiracy Theories

Thanks again to Bob T. for this.
By a writer who I often think takes extreme positions, a well thought out article.
The Nation September 25, 2006 :THE 9/11 CONSPIRACY NUTS by Alexander Cockburn. You trip over one fundamental idiocy of the 9/11 conspiracy nuts in the first paragraph of the book by one of their high priests, David Ray Griffin,The New Pearl Harbor. "In many respects," Griffin writes, "the strongest evidence provided by critics of the official account involves the events of 9/11 itself.... In light of standard procedures for dealing with hijacked airplanes...not one of these planes should have reached its target, le talone all three of them."The operative word here is "should." One central characteristic of the nuts is that they have a devout, albeit preposterous, belief in American efficiency, and hence many of them start with the racist premise that "Arabs in caves" weren't capable of the mission. They believe that military systemswork the way Pentagon press flacks and aerospace salesmen say they shouldwork. They believe that at 8:14 am, when AA Flight 11 switched off its radioand transponder, an FAA flight controller should have called the NationalMilitary Command center and NORAD. They believe, citing reverently (thisfrom high priest Griffin) "the US Air Force's own website," that an F-15could have intercepted AA Flight 11 "by 8:24, and certainly no later than8:30."They appear to have read no military history, which is too bad because ifthey had they'd know that minutely planned operations--let alone responses to an unprecedented emergency--screw up with monotonous regularity, by reason of stupidity, cowardice, venality and other whims of Providence.According to the minutely prepared plans of the Strategic Air Command, animpending Soviet attack would have prompted the missile silos in NorthDakota to open and the ICBMs to arc toward Moscow and kindred targets. Thetiny number of test launches actually attempted all failed, whereupon SAC gave up testing. Was it badly designed equipment, human incompetence,defense contractor venality or... conspiracy? Did the April 24, 1980, effortto rescue the hostages in the US Embassy in Tehran fail because a sandstormdisabled three of the eight helicopters, or because agents of William Casey poured sugar into their gas tanks in yet another conspiracy?Do the military's varying attempts to explain why F-15s didn't intercept andshoot down the hijacked planes stem from predictable attempts to cover upthe usual screw-ups, or because of conspiracy? Is Mr. Cohen in his littlestore at the end of the block hiking his prices because he wants to make abuck, or because his rent just went up, or because the Jews want to takeover the world? Bebel said anti-Semitism is the socialism of fools. Thesedays the 9/11 conspiracy fever is fast becoming the "socialism" of the left.My in-box overflows each day with fresh "proofs" of how the towers were demolished. I meet people who start quietly, asking me what I think about9/11. What they are actually trying to find out is whether I'm part of th ecoven. I imagine it is like being a normal Stoic in the second century ADgoing for a stroll in the forum and meeting some fellow asking, with seeming casualness, whether it's possible to feed 5,000 people on five loaves of bread and a couple of fish.Indeed, at my school the vicar used to urge on us Frank Morison's book WhoMoved the Stone? It demonstrated, with exhaustive citation from the Gospels,that since on these accounts no human had moved the stone from in front ofJoseph of Arimathea's tomb, it must have been an angel who rolled it aside,so Jesus could exit, astonish the mourners and then ascend. Of course,Morison didn't allow the possibility that angels never existed or that theGospel writers were making it up.It's the same pattern with the 9/11 nuts. There are photos of the impact ofthe "object" that hit the Pentagon--i.e., the Boeing 757, Flight 77--thatseem to show the sort of hole a missile might make. Ergo, it was a missileand a 757 didn't hit the Pentagon. As regards the hole, my brotherAndrew--writing a book about Rumsfeld--has seen photos taken within thirtyminutes of impact clearly showing the outline of an entire plane, includingwings. This was visible as soon as the smoke blew away.And if it was a missile, what happened to the 757? Did the conspiratorsshoot it down somewhere else, or force it down and then kill the passengers?Why plan to demolish the towers with pre-placed explosives if yourconspiracy includes control of the two planes that hit them? Why bother withthe planes at all? Why blame Osama if your fall guy is Saddam Hussein?The demolition scenario is classic who-moved-the-stonery. The towers didn't fall because they were badly built as a consequence of corruption,incompetence, regulatory evasions by the Port Authority and because theywere struck by huge planes loaded with jet fuel. No, they collapsed because Dick Cheney's agents methodically planted demolition charges in thepreceding days. It was a conspiracy of thousands, all of whom--party to massmurder--have held their tongues ever since.Of course, the buildings didn't suddenly pancake. People inside who survived the collapse didn't hear a series of explosions. As discussed in Wayne Barrett and Dan Collins's marvelous Grand Illusion, about Rudy Giuliani and9/11, helicopter pilots radioed warnings nine minutes before the final collapse of the South Tower that it might well go down, and similarwarnings, repeatedly, as much as twenty-five minutes before the NorthTower's fall.What Barrett and Collins brilliantly show are the actual corrupt conspiracies on Giuliani's watch (see also their article in this issue); the favoritism to Motorola, which saddled the firemen with radios that didn't work; the ability of the Port Authority to scrimp on fire protection; the mayor's catastrophic failure in the years before 9/11 to organize an effective emergency command, meaning that many lives could have been saved,cops and firemen could have communicated and firemen could have heard the helicopter warnings and the Mayday messages that saved most of the police.That's the real world, in which Giuliani and others have never been held accountable. Instead, the conspiracy nuts have combined to produce a ludicrous distraction.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

An Alternative Israeli Voice

The turnabout will come quickly
By Meron Benvenisti
No one can predict when the reversal will come, when all the experts will begin competing for first place in revealing the failures of the war: mistaken strategy, political dilettantism and shooting from the hip; the weakness disguised as courageous determination; the illusions, arrogance and boasting; the addiction to an impulse of revenge; the cruelty and the lack of moral inhibitions. But the manipulators and the self-declared heroes should not delude themselves, nor should the naive, or those who are drunk with patriotism or those who consider themselves experts: the moment will arrive more quickly than they imagine and within a short while everyone will be hiding behind the pose of "we told you so" when they know which way the wind is blowing. That is when all the declarations, the assessments and the excuses - that could be uttered and written only in an atmosphere of lack of critical skepticism that prevails when a "state of war" is declared - will be revealed.

It is only in an atmosphere of this kind that serious people can justify the destruction of a country on the grounds that they "are helping its government in this way" to gain the upper hand over Hezbollah - a kind of variation on the theme of "the raped woman actually enjoyed herself." It is only in an atmosphere of this kind that a well-bred person can be glad that the lack of American pressure to stop the bombings makes it possible to continue the killing and destruction. Only reliance on patriotic emotions, which cloud any rational thinking, makes it possible to state without shame - after many days of multi-casualty pounding and the inexplicable destruction of an airport, highway interchanges, power stations and entire neighborhoods - that actually this activity was in vain, since it was known in advance that the bombs could not achieve their objectives and that a massive ground invasion was unavoidable. Only people who unabashedly exploit primitive urges allow themselves to personalize the war and focus it on the annihilation of their enemy, Hassan Nasrallah. Only those who are convinced the war will bring down a smoke screen over any cynical or hypocritical act can brag that they are assisting in an international humanitarian activity after they themselves brought about the catastrophe. No one is able to predict the minute when the opposition to the war and the bloodshed turns from an act of betrayal into a legitimate and even correct stance; when a moral condemnation of the war's evil effects becomes acceptable from a patriotic point of view and when slogans like "uprooting terror," "a war for our homes," "an existential struggle" and their like, turn from resonant war-cries into empty rhetoric. No one can predict this, but experience teaches us that the turnabout from patriotic criticism to rational behavior based on moral norms occurs sooner or later, sometimes within weeks or months and sometimes after a generation. It seems that in the current outbreak of violence, the change will come very quickly; its conduct, objectives and results do not encourage too much enthusiasm and it has not even been granted the title of "war" since those who waged it are not sure if they want to commemorate it among the state's official wars or if they believe it would perhaps be better to forget it. They cannot allow themselves to think that all should know their assessments were incorrect, and therefore they will seek a "victory" that will justify all the loss of life and destruction, and the very need for such a victory will merely prolong the suffering and bereavement. The public that supports them will have difficulty demanding soul-searching of them since the tribal solidarity will protect the political and military leaders. Very soon everything will return to what it was before - apart from those who sacrificed their lives and those who were killed in the shellings and bombings. And the major loser will be the people of Israel who, by an unmeasured reaction to a provocation, established their position as a foreign element in the region, as the neighborhood bully, the object of impotent hatred.

From Haaretz. www.haaretz.com

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Song For July 4th

Tears of Rage
by Bob Dylan and Richard Manuel. Album: Music from Big Pink© 1967, 1970 Dwarf Music
See Peter Viney's article on "Tears of Rage" for more about this song.
C Am F Dm
We carried you in our arms on Independence Day
Bb F C
And now you'd throw us all aside and put us all away
Am F Dm
Oh, what dear daughter 'neath the sun could treat a father so?
Bb F C
To wait upon him hand and foot and always tell him "No"
(Chorus:)
E7 Am
Tears of rage, tears of grief
F C
Why must I always be the thief?
E7 Am
Come to me now, you know we're so low
F C7 Fmaj7 C
And life is brief
It was all very painless
When you went out to receive
All that false instruction
Which we never could believe
And now the heart is filled with gold
As if it was a purse
But, oh, what kind of love is this
Which goes from bad to worse?
(Chorus)
We pointed you the way to go
And scratched your name in sand
Though you just thought it was nothing more
Than a place for you to stand
I want you to know that while we watched
You discovered no one would be true
And I myself was among
The ones who thought
It was just a childish thing to do
(Chorus)
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Doo-Wop Horses

I enjoyed this quite a lot.
Click on the link below. Wait for the entire screen to load up with all four horses and a fence in front of them. Then click on each horse. Make sure your sound is on. Re-click on any horse to make it turn off or turn it back on again . Somebody did some real wizardry of programming to coordinate this! Try clicking on the horses from left to right then right to left then just one or two at a time... It's fun and a good stress reliever.Have fun! Doo-Wop Horses .
Thanks to Will Fudeman for passing this on,

Noah Tenney's Woodstock Debut Colony Cafe

June 22, 2006
From left to right: Tim Kapeluck, Noah Tenney, Brian Hollander and Gerry Tenney.
Noah, my son, had sung with me at the Woodstock (NY), library at kids concerts before. This was his first time there for the "older folks ". He sang "Act Naturally"
The Colony Cafe on Rock City Road is a great place to hear music.

The Bluegrass Clubhouse plays there every Thursday from 8 to 10:30, often featuring the legendary Bill Keith on banjo.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Shabbes Goy

From: "Mike Kramer" Date: 2006/07/01 Sat PM 04:52:17 EDTTo: "'Nora Adelman'" Thanks to BT for passing this along to me: - Worth the read!!! _____ The Shabbes Goy by Joe Velarde. Snow came early in the winter of 1933 when our extended Cuban family moved into the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. I was ten years old. We were the first Spanish speakers to arrive, yet we fit more or less easily into that crowded, multicultural neighborhood. Soon we began learning a little Italian, a few Greek and Polish words, lots of Yiddish and some heavily accentedEnglish.I first heard the expression Shabbes is falling when Mr. Rosenthalrefused to open the door of his dry goods store on Bedford Avenue. Mymother had sent me with a dime to buy a pair of black socks for my father.In those days, men wore mostly black and Navy blue. Brown and gray weresomehow special and cost more. Mr. Rosenthal stood inside the locked door,arms folded, glaring at me through the thick glass while a heavy snow and darkness beganto fall on a Friday evening. "We're closed, already Mr. Rosenthal had said shaking his head, can't you see that Shabbes is falling? Don't be a nudnik! Go home." I could feel the cold wetness covering my head and thought thatShabbes was the Jewish word for snow. My misperception of Shabbes didn't last long, however, as the area's dominant culture soon became apparent; Gentiles were the minority. From then on,as Shabbes fell with its immutable regularity and Jewish lore took over the life of the neighborhood, I came to realize that so many humanactivities, ordinarily mundane at any other time, ceased, and a palpablesilence, a pleasant tranquillity, fell over all of us. It was then that a family withan urgent need would dispatch a youngster to get the Spanish boy, and hurry."That was me. In time, I stopped being nameless and became Yussel, sometimes Yuss or Yusseleh. And so began my life as a Shabbes Goy, voluntarily doing chores for my neighbors on Friday nights and Saturdays: lighting stoves, running errands,getting a prescription for an old tante, stoking coal furnaces, putting lights on or out, clearing snow and ice from slippery sidewalks andstoops. Doing just about anything that was forbidden to the devout by their religious code. Friday afternoons were special. I'd walk home from school assailed by the rich aroma emanating from Jewish kitchens preparing that evening's special menu. By now, I had developed a list of steady clients," Jewish families who depended on me. Furnaces, in particular, demanded frequent tendingduring Brooklyn's many freezing winters. I shudder remembering brutally cold winds blowing off the East River. Anticipation ran high as I thought of the warm home-baked treats I'd bring home that night after my Shabbes rounds wereover. Thanks to me, my entire family had become Jewish pastry junkies. Moi? I'm still addicted to checkerboard cake, halvah and Egg Creams (made only with Fox's Ubet chocolate syrup).I remember as if it were yesterday how I discovered that Jews were the smartest people in the world. You see, in our Cuban household we all loved the ends of bread loaves and, to keep peace, my father always decided whowould get them. One harsh winter night I was rewarded for my Shabbes ministrations with a loaf of warm challah (we pronounced it "holly") and I knew I was witnessing genius! Who else could have invented a bread that had wonderfully crusted ends all over it -- enough for everyone in a large family? There was an "International" aspect to my teen years in Williamsburg. TheSternberg family had two sons who had fought with the Abraham LincolnBrigade in Spain. Whenever we kids could get their attention, they'd spellbind us with tales of hazardous adventures in the Spanish Civil War.These twenty-something war veterans also introduced us to a novel way of thinking, one that embraced such humane ideas as From each according to his means and to each according to his needs. In retrospect, this innocen texposure to a different philosophy was the starting point of a journey that would also incorporate the concept of Tzedakah in my personal guide to the world. In what historians would later call The Great Depression, a nickel was a lot of mazuma and its economic power could buy a brand new Spaldeen,our local name for the pink-colored rubber ball then produced by the Spalding Company. The famous Spaldeen was central to our endless street games: stick ball and punchball or the simpler stoopball. On balmy summer evenings our youthful fantasies converted South Tenth Street into Ebbets Field with the Dodgers' Dolph Camilli swinging a broom handle at a viciously curving Spaldeen thrown by the Giant's great lefty, Carl Hubbell. We really thought it curved, I swear.Our neighbors, magically transformed into spectators kibitzing from their brownstone stoops and windows, were treated to a unique version of major league baseball. My tenure as the resident Shabbes Goy came to an abrupt end after PearlHarbor Day, December 7, 1941. I withdrew from Brooklyn College thefollowing day and joined the U.S. Army. In June of 1944, the Army Air Corpsshipped me home after flying sixty combat missions over Italy and theBalkans. I was overwhelmed to find that several of my Jewish friends and neighbors had seta place for me at their supper tables every Shabbes throughout my absence,including me in their prayers. What mitzvoth! My homecoming was high lightedby wonderful invitations to dinner. Can you imagine the effect after twenty-two months of Army field rations? As my post-World War II life developed, the nature of the association I'd had with Jewish families during my formative years became clearer. I hadlearned the meaning of friendship, of loyalty, and of honor and respect. I discovered obedience without subservience. And caring about all livingthings had become as natural as breathing. The worth of a strong work ethicand of purposeful dedication was manifest. Love of learning blossomed and I beganto set higher standards for my developing skills, and loftier goals forfuture activities and dreams. Mind, none of this was the result of any sortof formal instruction; my yeshiva had been the neighborhood. I learnedthese things,absorbed them actually says it better, by association and role modeling, by pursuing curious inquiry, and by what educators called "incidental learning"in the crucible that was pre-World War II Williamsburg. It seems many of life's most elemental lessons are learned this way. While my parents' Cuban home sheltered me with warm, intimate affection and provided for my well-being and self esteem, the group of Jewish familiesI came to know and help in the Williamsburg of the 1930s was a surrogate tribe that abetted my teenage rite of passage to adulthood. One might even say we had experienced a special kind of Bar Mitzvah. I couldn't explain thent he concept of tikkun olam, but I realized as I matured how well I had been oriented by the Jewish experience to live it and to apply it. What a truly uplifting outlook on life it is to be genuinely motivated "to repair the world." In these twilight years when my good wife is occasionally told "Your husband is a funny man," I'm aware that my humor has its roots in the shticks of Second Avenue Yiddish Theater, entertainers at Catskill summer resorts, and their many imitators. And, when I argue issues of human or civil rights and am cautioned about showing too much zeal, I recall how chutzpah first flourished on Williamsburg sidewalks, competing for filberts(hazelnuts) with tough kids wearing payess and yarmulkes. Along the way I played chess and one-wall handball, learned to fence, listened to Rimsky-Korsakov, ate roasted chestnuts, read Maimonides and studied SaulAlinsky. I am ever grateful for having had the opportunity to be a Shabbes Goy. Aleichem sholom

Union Victory In UK Over Wal-Mart. USA Next?

http://www.gmb.org.uk/Templates/PressItems.asp?NodeID=94098

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Drunk Pelicans


Pelicans held on suspicion of being drunk
Jun 26, 8:46 AM (ET)
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Four pelicans suspected of being drunk on sea algae were being tested at a Southern California wildlife center Saturday after one of them crashed headlong into a car.
Three of the California brown pelicans were found wandering dazed in the streets of Laguna Beach after another pelican struck a vehicle's windshield on a nearby coast road.
It suffered internal injuries and a long gash in its pouch and was undergoing toxicology tests.
Officials at the Wildlife Care Center said the seabirds may have been under the influence of algae in the ocean that can produce domoic acid poisoning when eaten.
The other pelicans were rounded up after assistant wildlife director Lisa Birkle warned the public to be on the lookout for birds acting "drunk," disoriented or being in an unusual place.
Shellfish tainted with domoic acid was thought to be the culprit behind a 1961 attack of seabirds on people and cars in the oceanside California town of Capitola that inspired Alfred Hitchcock's horror movie "The Birds."

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Christians Only Baseball?

By Dave Zirin, TheNation.com. Posted on June 7, 2006, Printed on June 7, 2006 . http://www.alternet.org/story/37193/
In Colorado, there stands a holy shrine called Coors Field. On this site, named for the holiest of beers, a team plays that has been chosen by Jesus Christ himself to play .500 baseball in the National League West. And if you don't believe me, just ask the manager, the general manager and the team's owner.
In a remarkable article from USA Today last week, the Colorado Rockies went public with the news that the organization has been explicitly looking for players with "character." And according to the Tribe of Coors, "character" means accepting Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior. "We're nervous, to be honest with you," Rockies general manager Dan O'Dowd said. "It's the first time we ever talked about these issues publicly. The last thing we want to do is offend anyone because of our beliefs." When people are nervous that they will offend you with their beliefs, it's usually because their beliefs are offensive.
As Rockies chairman and CEO Charlie Monfort said, "We had to go to hell and back to know where the Holy Grail is. We went through a tough time and took a lot of arrows."
Club president Keli McGregor chimed in, "Who knows where we go from here? The ability to handle success will be a big part of the story, too. [Note to McGregor: You're in fourth place.] There will be distractions. There will be things that can change people. But we truly do have something going on here. And [God's] using us in a powerful way."
Well, someone is using somebody, but it ain't God. San Francisco Giants first baseman-outfielder Mark Sweeney, who spent 2003 and 2004 with the Rockies, said, "You wonder if some people are going along with it just to keep their jobs. Look, I pray every day. I have faith. It's always been part of my life. But I don't want something forced on me. Do they really have to check to see whether I have a Playboy in my locker?"
Then there is manager Clint Hurdle and GM O'Dowd. Hurdle, who has guided the team to a Philistine 302-376 record since 2002, as well as fourth or fifth place finishes every year, was rewarded with a 2007 contract extension in the off-season. Hurdle also claims he became a Christian three years ago and says, "We're not going to hide it. We're not going to deny it. This is who we are."
O'Dowd, who also received a contract extension, believes that their 27-26 2006 record has resulted from the active intervention of the Almighty. "You look at things that have happened to us this year. You look at some of the moves we made and didn't make. You look at some of the games we're winning. Those aren't just a coincidence. God has definitely had a hand in this." Or maybe the management that prays together gets paid together.
O'Dowd and company bend over backward in the article to say they are "tolerant" of other views on the club, but that's contradicted by statements like this from CEO Monfort: "I don't want to offend anyone, but I think character-wise we're stronger than anyone in baseball. Christians, and what they've endured, are some of the strongest people in baseball. I believe God sends signs, and we're seeing those." Assumedly, Shawn Green (Jew), Ichiro Suzuki (Shinto) or any of the godless players from Cuba don't have the "character" Monfort is looking for.
Also, there are only two African-American players on the Rockies active roster. Is this because Monfort doesn't think black players have character? Does the organization endorse the statement of its stadium's namesake, William Coors, who told a group of black businessmen in 1984 that Africans "lack the intellectual capacity to succeed, and it's taking them down the tubes"? These are admittedly difficult questions. But these are the questions that need to be posed when the wafting odor of discrimination clouds the air.
Then there are the fans. I spoke with journalist Tom Krattenmaker, who has studied the connection between religion and sports. Krattenmaker said, "I have concerns about what this Christianization of the Rockies means for the community that supports the team in and around Denver--a community in which evangelical Christians are probably a minority, albeit a large and influential one. Taxpayers and ticket-buyers in a religiously diverse community have a right not to see their team--a quasi-public resource--used for the purpose of advancing a specific form of religion. Have the Colorado Rockies become a faith-based organization? This can be particularly problematic when the religion in question is one that makes exclusive claims and sometimes denigrates the validity of other belief systems."
You might think MLB Commissioner Bud Selig would have something stirring to say about this issue. But Selig, who hasn't actually registered a pulse since 1994, only said meekly, "They have to do what they feel is right."
It's not surprising that Selig would play it soft. First and foremost, Bud's First Commandment is "Thou Shalt Not Criticize the Owners. Second, Selig and Major League Baseball this year are experimenting for the first time with Faith Days at the Park. As if last season's Military Appreciation Nights weren't enough, the New York Times reported that this summer "religious promotions will hit Major League Baseball. The Atlanta Braves are planning three Faith Days this season, the Arizona Diamondbacks one. The Florida Marlins have tentatively scheduled a Faith Night for September." These religious promotions are attractive to owners because they leverage a market of evangelical Christians who are accustomed to mass worship in stadiums at events staged by sports-driven proselytizers like Promise Keepers and Athletes in Action.
As part of the MLB promotion, the Times reports, "local churches will get discounted tickets to family-friendly evenings of music and sports with a Christian theme. And in return, they mobilize their vast infrastructure of e-mail and phone lists, youth programs and chaperones, and of course their bus fleets, to help fill the stands."
At one of the Faith Days in Atlanta, the team will sell special vouchers. After the game, the stands will be cleared and then only those with the specially purchased vouchers will be re-admitted. Those lucky chosen "will be treated to an hour and a half of Christian music and a testimonial from the ace pitcher John Smoltz." Smoltz is the player who in 2004 opined on gay marriage to the Associated Press, saying, "What's next? Marrying an animal?" Good times for the whole family.
The Rockies right now are a noxious reflection of a time in US history when generals speak of crusades and the President recounts his personal conversations with Yahweh. ("You're doing a heckuva job, Goddy!")
If Monfort, O'Dowd and Hurdle want to pray on their own time, more power to them. But the ballpark isn't a church. Smoltz isn't a preacher. And fans aren't a flock. Instead of using their position of commercial power to field a God Squad, the Rockies might want to think about getting some decent players. There was once this guy named Babe Ruth. Not too much for the religion, and his character was less than sterling. But I hear he could play some decent ball.
Dave Zirin is the author of "What's My Name Fool? Sports and Resistance in the United States." Read more of his work at Edgeofsports.com.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Chuck Monroe


From acousticphd on the message board of www.mandolin.com .

A great melding of two great musical pioneers, Chuck Berry and Bill Monroe.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

102 Itche Goldberg. My Most Inspirational Teacher



The New York Times May 27, 2006. By DAN BARRY .Stubborn as His Kultur, the Old Man Lives. On the eighth floor of an ancient office building in the Flatiron district, a fixture is missing. Knock on Room 820, and a young woman says her company has been there for just a couple of months; try the next door. Knock on Room 816, and nothing. Peer through the mailslot, emptiness.But around the corner, a maintenance man reading a Spanish news paper in the utility closet has news of that missing fixture: "The old man,he not here anymore."That's right: The old man, Itche Goldberg, not here anymore. For decades, he toiled on this floor, in an office crammed with books andideas, to produce what was once a premier Yiddish literary journal,Yidishe Kultur. It was published monthly, then every other month,then a few times a year, and then, finally, once, in 2004.Mr. Goldberg would take an Access-A-Ride van to the office, where he wrote, read manuscripts, maintained correspondences and tried to raise money to keep the periodical going. But just as the desire for sophisticated criticism of Yiddish literature gradually waned, so too did his ability to get to an office five days a week.Understandable, given that he is 102.A few weeks ago, the office of Yidishe Kultur was closed, but only inthe physical sense. It continues to live within Mr. Goldberg, who clings to the belief that support will come, money will materialize,and his beloved Yiddish culture, to which he dedicated a longlifetime, will thrive."It isn't easy," he says. He says this often, but to hear him say it,you detect more hope than despair.Mr. Goldberg sits in his West Side apartment's crammed study,white-haired and small, fiddling with the translucent hose feedingoxygen to his nose. A portrait of him, much younger, hangs on thewall. Papers spill from shopping bags. Pipes he has not smoked in aquarter-century gather dust. And surrounding him, books, books,books, almost all in Yiddish.LOOK at these walls, I beg you," he says. "If I couldn't have these writers..." He banishes the thought, then adds: "With all this I became part of a culture. And it kept us going quite a while."For many who care about highbrow Yiddish culture, Mr. Goldberg is a keeper of the flickering flame. "A titan," says Thomas E. Bird, aprofessor of East European languages and literature at QueensCollege. "A brilliant scholar of literature. A master teacher of generations."But how does one succinctly sum up 102 years?Born in 1904 in what is now Poland, suffered deprivation andprejudice, demonstrated scholarly aptitude, moved to Toronto, began teaching Yiddish, married a social worker named Jennie who turned 100 in December got involved in communist Yiddish culture, helped to establish Yiddish schools across the country, published a children'smagazine.Wrote and edited, all to further a language left for dead by theNazis. Raised two children, Susan and David. Feared the knock on the door during the McCarthy era. Lived through the bitter quarrels within the Yiddish left. Taught, lectured, wrote, edited, survived.Mr. Goldberg skips over this point and stops at that one, pausinghere to recall the Marxist scholar Morris Schappes and there toemphasize that being a secular Jew does not mean he is anti-religious. He delivers a brief lecture about Yiddish labor poetry, then asks, not for the only time, "Are you aware of this?"His longtime editorial assistant, Shoshana Balaban-Wolkowitz,materializes to check on his visitor. "You want something to drink?"she asks. "Almost cold ginger ale? Very bad coffee?"Mr. Goldberg continues his lecture, speaking with a nimble wit thatseeks to nurse humor from language whenever possible. When he stepson his air line, for example, he mimics a telephone operator's flatvoice: "Line 1."Unable at one point to immediately summon his whereabouts in 1930, heconfides, "By the way, things slip for me.""That's O.K.," he is reassured."No, it's not O.K.," he answers quickly, then returns to emphasizingthe importance of Yiddish as a central means of expression for Jewish culture. Fixing his gaze on his visitor, he says, "I hope what emerges is a certain stubbornness, a certain belief, a certain creativity that we cherish."Mr. Goldberg gently indicates that he has better things to do than totalk more about himself. But yes, he still reads, with the assistance of a magnifying lamp on his desk that enlarges print.As a matter of fact, he says, he is re-reading his own latest book,"Essayen Tsvey" ("Essays Two"), the recent publication of which"surely makes him the oldest writer ever to have published a newbook," according to The London Times Literary Supplement.The 467-page book contains more than two dozen essays by this erudite Yiddish fixture. Among them is one called, simply, "The Story of My 100 Years."E-mail: dabarry@nytimes.com

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Who's Illegal?

WHO'S MORE ILLEGAL HERE? BILL O'REILLY & GEORGE BUSH OR A DESCENDANTOF AZTECS AND INCAS? ROBERT MIRANDA, HISPANIC VISTA - Mexicans come from 10,000 years ofhuman history and all of it in the conquered lands now known inhistory books as Mesoamerica and the United States of North America.Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Columbians and all the ethnic peoples that makeup Latin America and the Caribbean basin come from native tribes thatflourished long before the invasion of the Spanish Europeans and theintroduction of African slaves into this Hemisphere. . .Latinos are a people who remember our ancestry. We know that the landsthat were taken after the Indian Wars and the Mexican - American War,are ancestral lands that many Mexicans consider to this day as part oftheir ancient history.Who you calling "illegal?"The Aztecs and Incas, Apache, the Comanche, Pueblo Indians and all thenative people who for thousands of years harvested these lands andbuilt cities, and lived free under their own set of laws and rules,thrived and prospered. . .These lands stolen by the greed and manipulations and war of those whoarrived on ships from Europe, and then began stealing land that wasnever theirs, today have descendents who have inherited their wealthfrom this theft and have turned to the descendents of the nativepeople and have called them "illegal".Who you calling "illegal?"The blood of Geronimo, Orocobix, Cochise and Pope, of the PuebloIndians reminds us conscious Latinos - Chicanos of our legacy andancient history. I'm supposed to surrender this history because LouDobbs, Rush Limbaugh and Milwaukee's local right-wing talking headssay that I must? . . .Who you calling "illegal"?http://www.hispanicvista.com/HVC/Columnist/posiojr/051006osio2.htm

Thursday, May 11, 2006

German Robin Hoods

German 'Robin Hoods' give poor a taste of the high life. A gang of Robin Hood-style thieves, who dress as superheroes and steal expensive food from exclusive restaurants and delicatessens to give to the poor, are being hunted by police in the German city of Hamburg.http://news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=692762006

Thursday, May 04, 2006

When The Anthem Was In Yiddish

Thursday, May 4, 2006Welcome, klezmer41 (logout - Media Links
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Home > The Shmooze
When the Anthem Was in YiddishBy RUKHL SCHAECHTERMay 5, 2006
The release last Friday of a Spanish version of the "The Star-Spangled Banner" sparked heated debate on radio talk shows and in the blogosphere. Some pundits took to calling the song "The Illegal Alien Anthem." Even the president has weighed in on the matter. (He's opposed.)
But as one might expect in a country built by immigrants, this was hardly the first time the national anthem has been translated into another tongue. The song has given rise to German, French, Chinese, Native American and even Yiddish versions.
In fact, there have been at least two Yiddish renditions. One, "Di Shtern-Batsirte Fon" by Yiddish poet Avrom Aisen, was published in 1943 by the Educational Alliance on New York City's Lower East Side to mark the 100th "yahrzeit" of anthem scribe Francis Scott Key. The left-wing Jewish People's Fraternal Order published the second, by Ber Grin, in 1947.
In terms of accuracy, rhythm and rhyme, Aisen's translation is certainly the better. Aisen, who was born in Brisk, Poland (which today is Brest, Belarus), in 1886, immigrated to New York in 1903. His first poem appeared in the anarchist Yiddish newspaper Freier Arbeter Shtimme in 1907, and he continued to publish Yiddish poetry in almost a dozen newspapers, including the Forverts, even after attaining a degree in dentistry in 1912. After 1920 he devoted himself to translating the works of American and British poets — Byron, Tennyson, Longfellow, Whitman and all of Shakespeare's sonnets — into Yiddish, presumably to give Jewish immigrants from Eastern Europe a taste of the literature that awaited them once they mastered the English language.
And the Jews didn't stop with "The Star-Spangled Banner." Mandy Patinkin's album "Mameloshen" (1998) presents a Yiddish version of "God Bless America," and to this day the 84-year old Jewish People's Philharmonic Chorus includes in its repertoire Berl Latin's stirring Yiddish translation of "America the Beautiful." Far from being a refusal to learn a new language, such translations are instead an expression of gratitude toward an open and hospitable land.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Howard Zinn On Impeachment


Listen to PSA by Howard Zinnhttp://www.afterdowningstreet.org/downloads/zinn.mp3

Yogi Berra On Jazz


This comes from a friend. I don't know if it's real but its funny. Perhaps Yogi was on something else as well!

Interviewer to Mr. Berra: "Can you explain jazz?"Yogi: "I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, it's right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it's wrong."Interviewer: "I don't understand."Yogi: "Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's what's so simple about it."Interviewer: "Do you understand it?"Yogi: "No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldn't know anything about it."Interviewer: "Are there any great jazz player alive today?"Yogi: "No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it."Interviewer: "What is syncopation?"Yogi: "That's when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as something different from those other kinds."Interviewer: "Now I really don't understand."Yogi: "I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well."

Friday, April 21, 2006

Trumpet Guy :A Friend I Play Music With Sometimes


Trumpet Guy : Musician, A's booster
By Brenda Payton, STAFF WRITER
IT started as a fluke. Stephen Saxon was going to an A's game with a friend.
"I thought, 'I can do better than those big plastic horns,'" he said. So he took along one of his trumpets. "The piccolo trumpet. It's used mostly in Baroque music. I thought it would stand the least chance of getting hurt. Also, it really carries."
He took it along to the next game he attended as well.
"I was listening on the radio, and I heard (Ken) Korach and (Bill) King say, 'Hey, the Trumpet Guy's back.'"
And so an Oakland A's tradition was born. That was 2000.
Saxon held up his jersey to show off the words "Trumpet Guy," newly applied to the back. "I just got this back last week."
If you're an A's fan, you know the Trumpet Guy doesn't just blow his horn or play "Take me out to the ballgame."
He makes musical commentaries, or quotes as he calls them, responding to what's happening on the field or communicating with the radio play-by-play announcers.
So when A-Rod — the New York Yankees' Alex Rodriguez, the highest-paid player in baseball — comes to the plate, he plays "If I were a rich man."
Miguel Tejada inspired a few bars from "Tequila," also played by the drummers who used to play in the bleachers. David Justice? The theme from "Perry Mason." The theme from "Perry Mason"?
"You know, justice," Saxon said. "The odder the connection, the better."
Most of his commentaries are whimsical, but at least one was serious.
"John Rocker was warming up and getting booed," he recalled. Rocker, a former reliever for the Atlanta Braves, created a furor when he insulted gays and immigrants in an interview.
"I thought, 'What would be the most meaningful response?'" Saxon said. He started quietly playing "We Shall Overcome."
"I played it all the way through. The sections on either side of me joined in and sang along. It said, 'That doesn't fly here. This is Oakland.' It was one of my favorite moments."
He loves it when he gets a laugh from the play-by-play announcers.
"I feel like I'm there contributing," he said.
The only autographed baseball he owns was signed by King, the legendary announcer who died last year.
He'll also play requests from people sitting around him.
"If they can sing it, I can play it," he said.
If you've noticed the Trumpet Guy sounds pretty good, there's a reason. He's a musician, trained in classical, jazz and Klezmer music. He also sings. In college he focused on the trumpet to let his bass voice mature. He credits a high school voice teacher, Cathy Hudnall, with teaching him everything he's needed to know as a singer.
"I thought the trumpet was the quickest route to learning music, reading, analysis. And it wouldn't hurt my voice."
Most recently, he has found himself immersed in arranging and composing for Clockwork, an a cappella quintet he sings with.
"I've done maybe 30 arrangements in the past three years. It's the first time I've been writing so much," he said.
He patiently explains the process and goal of arranging.
"It's a way of coming up with a new way of saying something through an existing piece of music," he said. "I try to maintain the voice of the group and at the same time to stretch it. I look for a melody that's stylistically happening, harmonize on that and come up with a counter point. Most groups are not able to pull it off."
And as he has gotten further into arranging, he has been doing more composing.
The Trumpet
Guy. Who knew?
"I've had people who know my playing but didn't know I was the Trumpet Guy recognize me from what I play at the games."
Clockwork, which also includes Angie Doctor, Eric Freeman, John Paddock and Jim Hale, rehearses every week.
"If we're working on new music, we'll sit around the table with our binders and a pitch pipe and read through it. When we know the notes, we go downstairs and work with the sound system and rehearse with microphones."
The group is looking forward to competing in the National Finals Harmony Sweepstakes in San Rafael on May 6.
"We came in second in 2004 when we had only had seven performances. So we have high hopes for this year."
At the games, he prefers Section 217, behind home plate but not on the first deck.
"No, I haven't gotten any complaints yet. But I choose my moments and place. I like the front row because no one is in front me," he said. "A lot of people come up and shake my hand. A few buy me beers."
Catch the Trumpet Guy at about 20 A's games a year. (Although he has become part of the A's experience, he doesn't get a free pass because of copyright and licensing requirements.) Clockwork's CD, "Tesseract,' is available at CDbaby.com or clockworksingers.com.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Peace Between Israeli and Palestinian Soldiers

120 FORMER ISRAELI, PALESTINIAN COMBATANTS START PEACE DRIVEREUTERS - After a year of meeting in secret, 120 former Israel Defense Forces combat soldiers and Palestinian militants unveiled a unique peace group on Monday, hopeful their union will spur dialogue and end bloodshed. Formation of the "Combatants for Peace" is a rare sign ofcomradeship at a time when separation increasingly characterizes relations between Israelis and Palestinians. . .In a school yard in the Palestinian town of Anata north of Jerusalem,former enemies exchanged handshakes and hugs as they inaugurated what they called the first joint group of its type. . . The former combatants have been meeting for a year in different towns around Jerusalem after founders on both sides decided to do something to tryto foster peace.But they kept the group's existence secret to first build trust at gatherings where emotions often spilled over as both sides told stories of what they had done in the conflict. . .The group aims to put pressure on both governments to talk peace, halt violence and establish a Palestinian state. They plan to visit Israeli and Palestinian schools and universities and set up joint media teams to influence public opinion. {For more go to} http://www.haaretzdaily.com/hasen/spages/704675.html

Thoughts on Pesakh and Immigration From Rabbi Arthur Waskow

A prophetic voice in Jewish, multireligious, & American life Passover in Spanish – in the Streets of AmericaBy Rabbi Arthur Waskow * "Passover" is happening in the streets of America this week . It is coming not from a written book, but from the hearts and minds and legs and prayers of a people. It is happening in Spanish and "Spanglish" more than in Hebrew. Two million people in the streets against a Pharaoh who is saying "Let us make it a criminal act, a felony to be punished with prison at 'hard labor,' to live in the United States without a document. Let us make it a felony to feed or heal or educate or comfort these criminals. "Let us build a wall, with guns to kill anyone who dares to cross it; – just as the ancient Pharaoh ordered the murder of the boy-children of this folk whose name, "Hebrews," meant "the ones who cross over"; the wetbacks. Read Exodus 1: 9-10: "Now Pharaoh said: "Here, this people is many-more and mighty-numerous. Come now, let us use our wits against it, lest it become even many-more!" So they made them subservient with crushing-labor; they embittered their lives with hard servitude." Why did the ancient rabbis teach that the lunar Jewish calendar must be con stantly adjusted so as to keep Passover in the spring? Because just as the flowers rise up against winter in the springtime, so the People rise up against Pharaoh in springtime. Because as lambs are born and barley sprouts in the springtime, so new peoples are born and freedom sprouts new in the springtime. Just as the palm-waving street demonstration in Jerusalem two thousand years ago that we call "Palm Sunday," and then the Last Supper and Good Friday and Easter came from the new-uprising hopes of the Jewi sh community of ancient Palestine during Passover – when else? -- so millions are marching in the streets for this same holy time, these weeks. Just as the Roman imperial authorities tried to smash the uprising energies by torturing and killing its leaders two thousand years ago, so the Empire can be expected to try to repress this energy today. (It has already justified using torture against even people later found to be utterly guiltless.) It was not only Jesus who was tortured to death; on Yom Kippur, Jews recite the stories of ten other great rabbis who were tortured to death for refusi ng to obey the Roman edicts. The real answer to the immigration puzzle is certainly not cruelty: imprisoning the hopeful, shooting at the desperate, breaking up families. It must include an invitation to become US citizens. But even more basically, it demands addressing the question of poverty and despair BOTH in the US and in Mexico, Central America, the Caribbean. It means taking the steps to help grass-roots organizers -- labor unionists, farmers, teachers, clergyfolk, environmentalists, often women – to lift the wages and working conditions below the Rio Grande, as well in the US. To make "Free Trade Agreements" into Fair Trade Agreements, wiping out sweatshops and sweated fields on both sides of the river. To set the Federal minimum wage in the US at what is a decent "living wage" for a family, To insist not only on a living wage but "livable hours" -- decent working hours that allow for freeing the time that a free people needs if it is to learn, sing, govern itself, breathe . The ancient Israelites turned the tight spot and narrow space of ancient Egypt into a narrow but fruitful birth canal that brought them into open space and time. Once they had broken the waters of the Red Sea, they were able as their first collective act to make the Sabbath -- to live in broad spaces and open-ended time, with elbow room to create, to explore, to hear God's Word, to make a new society. So may it be with us. _____________________________________________________* Rabbi Arthur Waskow directs The Shalom Center and has written many books on spiritual renewal and public policy, including Godwrestling – Round 2. The Shalom Center www.shalomctr.org voices a new prophetic agenda in Jewish, multireligious, and American life. To receive the weekly on-line Shalom Report, click on --http://www.shalomctr.org/subscribe

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Recordings From Cylinders

http://www.cylinders.library.ucsb.edu/search.php This contains some of the earliest recordings ever made. So far my favorite is perhaps the earliest version of Abba Dabba Honeymoon.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Answer To South Dakota's Anti Choice Anti Women Law

From Nora A.

March 29, 2006
Cecilia Fire Thunder, Chief of the Oglala Sioux
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When South Dakota outlawed abortion, even in the case of rape and incest, the American Taliban scored another victory against women's rights.
That is why we were heartened to learn from a reader that Cecilia Fire Thunder, Chief of the Oglala Sioux, decided that tribal reservation law would allow her to offer sanctuary to women seeking choice.
"To me, it is now a question of sovereignty," Chief Thunder said. "I will personally establish a Planned Parenthood clinic on my own land which is within the boundaries of the Pine Ridge Reservation where the State of South Dakota has absolutely no jurisdiction."
In the face of these ignorant, Neanderthal South Dakota men -- who, along with their anti-choice brethren, will never understand childbirth nor abortion until they experience it themselves -- a Native American woman stands up for the Constitution and a women's right to choose.
For providing leadership during a time of cowardice in Washington, DC, Cecilia Fire Thunder, you truly merit this week's BuzzFlash "Wings of Justice Award."
* * *
Nominated by: Dennis Courtney of Brookeville, MD
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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Mbube Wimoweh

Another piece send by Bob Tomashevsky
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------March 22, 2006 Johannesburg JournalIn the Jungle, the Unjust Jungle, a Small Victory By SHARON LaFRANIEREJOHANNESBURG - As Solomon Linda first recorded it in 1939, it was a tender melody, almost childish in its simplicity - three chords, a couple of words and some baritones chanting in the background. But the saga of the song now known worldwide as "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is anything but a lullaby. It is fraught with racism and exploitation and, in the end, 40-plus years after his death, brings a measure of justice. Were he still alive, Solomon Linda might turn it into one heck of a ballad. Born in 1909 in the Zulu heartland of South Africa, Mr. Linda never learned to read or write, but in song he was supremely eloquent. After moving to Johannesburg in his mid-20's, he quickly conquered the weekend music scene at the township beer halls and squalid hostels that housed much of the city's black labor force.He sang soprano over a four-part harmony, a vocal style that was soon widely imitated. By 1939, a talent scout had ushered Mr. Linda's group, the Original Evening Birds, into a recording studio where they produced a startling hit called "Mbube," Zulu for "The Lion." Elizabeth Nsele, Mr. Linda's youngest surviving daughter, said it had been inspired by her father's childhood as a herder protecting cattle in the untamed hinterlands."The lion was going round and round, and the lion was happy," she said. "But my father was not happy. He had been staying there since morning and he was hungry." The lyrics were spartan - just mbube and zimba, which means "stop" - but its chant and harmonies were so entrancing that the song came to define a whole generation of Zulu a cappella singing, a style that became known simply as Mbube. Music scholars say the 78 r.p.m. recording of "Mbube" was probably the first African record to sell 100,000 copies.From there, it took flight worldwide. In the early 50's, Pete Seeger recorded it with his group, the Weavers. His version differed from the original mainly in his misinterpretation of the word "mbube" (pronounced "EEM-boo-beh"). Mr. Seeger sang it as "wimoweh," and turned it into a folk music staple.There followed a jazz version, a nightclub version, another folk version by the Kingston Trio, a pop version and finally, in 1961, a reworking of the song by an American songwriter, George Weiss. Mr. Weiss took the last 20 improvised seconds of Mr. Linda's recording and transformed it into the melody. He added lyrics beginning "In the jungle, the mighty jungle." A teen group called the Tokens sang it with a doo-wop beat - and it topped charts worldwide. Some 150 artists eventually recorded the song. It was translated into languages from Dutch to Japanese. It had a role in more than 13 movies. By all rights, Mr. Linda should have been a rich man. Instead, he lived in Soweto with barely a stick of furniture, sleeping on a dirt floor carpeted with cow dung. Mr. Linda received 10 shillings - about 87 cents today - when he signed over the copyright of "Mbube" in 1952 to Gallo Studios, the company that produced his record. He also got a job sweeping floors and serving tea in the company's packing house. His eight children survived on maize porridge, known as pap. When they passed a grade in school, their reward was an egg. Two died as babies, one of malnutrition, said his daughter Ms. Nsele, now 47. "Chicken feet and pap, chicken feet and pap," she said. "That was our meal for years and years." When Mr. Linda died in 1962, at 53, with the modern equivalent of $22 in his bank account, his widow had no money for a gravestone.How much he should have collected is in dispute. Over the years, he and his family have received royalties for "Wimoweh" from the Richmond Organization, the publishing house that holds the rights to that song, though not as much as they should have, Mr. Seeger said. "I didn't realize what was going on and I regret it," said Mr. Seeger, now 86, adding that he learned only recently that Mr. Linda received less than the 50 percent of publishing royalties Mr. Seeger says he was due. "I have always left money up to other people. I was kind of stupid." But where Mr. Linda's family really lost out, his lawyers claim, was in "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," a megahit. From 1991 to 2000, the years when "The Lion King" began enthralling audiences in movie theaters and on Broadway, Mr. Linda's survivors received a total of perhaps $17,000 in royalties, according to Hanro Friedrich, the family's lawyer. A lawyer for Abilene Music, the publishing house for "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," did not return repeated calls for comment. But Owen Dean, a South African copyright lawyer who also represents the family, said the amount was a mere pittance compared with the profits the song generated. The Lindas say they knew no better. Ms. Nsele said she remembered hearing her father's tune on the radio as a teenager in the 1970's and recalled: "I asked my mother, 'Who are those people?' She said she didn't know. She was happy because the husband's song was playing. She didn't know she was supposed to get something."Indeed, few people knew until Rian Malan, the South African author and songwriter, documented the inequity in 2000 in Rolling Stone magazine. In a telephone interview this month, Mr. Malan said he was stunned "by the degree to which everyone was relying on the Lindas never asking the question" of why they were paid so little.Mr. Malan's article embarrassed several major players in the American music industry and brought both Mr. Friedrich and Mr. Dean to the family's defense. The Lindas filed suit in 2004, demanding $1.5 million in damages, but their case was no slam-dunk. Not only had Mr. Linda signed away his copyright to Gallo in 1952, Mr. Dean said, but his wife, who was also illiterate, signed them away again in 1982, followed by his daughters several years later. Ms. Nsele contends the family was hoodwinked by a South African lawyer, now deceased. Mr. Friedrich said the lawyer appeared to have worn two hats, simultaneously representing the family and the song's copyright holders. In their lawsuit, the Lindas invoked an obscure 1911 law under which the song's copyright reverted to Mr. Linda's estate 25 years after his death. On a separate front, they criticized the Walt Disney Company, whose 1994 hit movie "The Lion King" featured a meerkat and warthog singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." Disney argued that it had paid Abilene Music for permission to use the song, without knowing its origins. But for a company built on its founder's benevolent image, the case "had all the makings of a nightmare," Mr. Dean said - a David and Goliath story in which Disney raked in profits from the song while Mr. Linda's children toiled as maids and factory workers, lived without indoor plumbing and sometimes had to borrow from their lawyer for food. In February, Abilene agreed to pay Mr. Linda's family royalties from 1987 onward, ending the suit. No amount has been disclosed, but the family's lawyers say their clients should be quite comfortable. A representative for Disney would not discuss the circumstances behind the lawsuit, but the company said in a statement that Walt Disney Pictures had licensed " 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' in good faith" and was pleased that the litigation had been resolved "to everyone's satisfaction." Some injustices cannot be redressed: in 2001, Mr. Linda's daughter Adelaide died of AIDS at age 38, unable to afford life-saving antiretroviral treatment. "I was angry before," said Ms. Nsele, who, as a government nurse, is one of the few of Mr. Linda's descendants who is employed. "They didn't ask permission. They just decided to do anything they wanted with my father's song.""But now it seems we must forgive, because they have come to their senses and realized they have made a mistake," Ms. Nsele said. "The Bible says you must try to forgive.""Not 'try,' " her 17-year-old daughter Zandile corrected. "It says 'forgive.' "Copyright 2006The New York Times Company Home Privacy Policy Search Corrections XML Help Contact Us Work for Us Site Map Back to Top

Saturday, March 18, 2006

What The Media Told You About Iraq

WHAT THE MEDIA TOLD YOU ABOUT IRAQ[Compiled by FAIR]"Iraq Is All but Won; Now What?" (Los Angeles Times headline, 4/10/03)"Now that the combat phase of the war in Iraq is officially over, what begins is a debate throughout the entire U.S. government over America's unrivaled power and how best to use it." (CBS reporter Joie Chen, 5/4/03)"Congress returns to Washington this week to a world very different from the one members left two weeks ago. The war in Iraq is essentially over and domestic issues are regaining attention." (NPR'sBob Edwards, 4/28/03)"Tommy Franks and the coalition forces have demonstrated the old axiomthat boldness on the battlefield produces swift and relatively bloodless victory. The three-week swing through Iraq has utterly shattered skeptics' complaints." (Fox News Channel's Tony Snow, 4/27/03)"The only people who think this wasn't a victory are Upper Westside liberals, and a few people here in Washington." (Charles Krauthammer,Inside Washington, WUSA-TV, 4/19/03)"We had controversial wars that divided the country. This war united the country and brought the military back." (Newsweek's Howard Fineman--MSNBC, 5/7/03) "We're all neo-cons now." (MSNBC's Chris Matthews, 4/9/03) "The war was the hard part. The hard part was putting together acoalition, getting 300,000 troops over there and all their equipment and winning. And it gets easier. I mean, setting up a democracy is hard, but it is not as hard as winning a war." (Fox News Channel'sFred Barnes, 4/10/03)"Oh, it was breathtaking. I mean I was almost starting to think thatwe had become inured to everything that we'd seen of this war over the past three weeks; all this sort of saturation. And finally, when we saw that it was such a just true, genuine expression. It was reminiscent, I think, of the fall of the Berlin Wall. And just sort of that pure emotional expression, not choreographed, not stage-managed,the way so many things these days seem to be. Really breathtaking." -Washington Post reporter Ceci Connolly, appearing on Fox News Channelon 4/9/03, discussing the pulling down of a Saddam Hussein statue in Baghdad, an event later revealed to have been a U.S. military PSYOPS operation."The war winds down, politics heats up.... Picture perfect. part Spider-Man, part Tom Cruise, part Ronald Reagan. The president seizes the moment on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific." (PBS's Gwen Ifill, 5/2/03, on George W. Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech)"We're proud of our president. Americans love having a guy as president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not acomplicated guy like Clinton or even like Dukakis or Mondale, all those guys, McGovern. They want a guy who's president. Women like a guy who's president. Check it out. The women like this war. I think we like having a hero as our president. It's simple. We're not like the Brits." (MSNBC's Chris Matthews, 5/1/03)"He looked like an alternatively commander in chief, rock star, moviestar, and one of the guys." (CNN's Lou Dobbs, on Bush's 'MissionAccomplished' speech, 5/1/03)"Why don't the damn Democrats give the president his day? He won today. He did well today." (MSNBC's Chris Matthews, 4/9/03)"If image is everything, how can the Democratic presidential hopefuls compete with a president fresh from a war victory?" (CNN's JudyWoodruff, 5/5/03)"I doubt that the journalists at the New York Times and NPR or at ABC or at CNN are going to ever admit just how wrong their negative pronouncements were over the past four weeks." (MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, 4/9/03)"This has been a tough war for commentators on the American left. To hope for defeat meant cheering for Saddam Hussein. To hope for victory meant cheering for President Bush. The toppling of Mr. Hussein, or at least a statue of him, has made their arguments even harder to defend. Liberal writers for ideologically driven magazines like The Nation and for less overtly political ones like The New Yorker did not predict a defeat, but the terrible consequences many warned of have not happened. Now liberal commentators must address the victory at handand confront an ascendant conservative juggernaut that asserts UnitedStates might can set the world right." (New York Times reporter David Carr, 4/16/03)"This will be no war -- there will be a fairly brief and ruthless military intervention.... The president will give an order. [The attack] will be rapid, accurate and dazzling.... It will be greeted by the majority of the Iraqi people as an emancipation. And I say, bring it on." (Christopher Hitchens, in a 1/28/03 debate-- cited in The Observer, 3/30/03)"I will bet you the best dinner in the gaslight district of San Diego that military action will not last more than a week. Are you willing to take that wager?" (Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, 1/29/03)"It won't take weeks. You know that, professor. Our military machine will crush Iraq in a matter of days and there's no question that it will." (Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, 2/10/03)http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=2842

Monday, March 13, 2006

A Groaner From www.rec.humor.jewish

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry,your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away."The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied."How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done anytesting on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs,put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird fromhead to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowedsoftly and strolled out of the room.The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck. Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!.READY ????The vet shrugged "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20 but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00".